GodSprings - 20, August, 2017

Was I Right in Questioning God?

He said, “Take your son, to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell.

Genesis 22:2

Facebook has a category: “Relationship status.” We have several options to choose from. Single, in a relationship, married, complicated and so on. My relationship status with God for the last couple of months has been complicated.

Personally, and spiritually life for me has not been at its best for the last 3 to 4 months. To be precise it’s been 2 months and 7 days that I have written anything or I have taken a pain in reading the Bible with the seriousness I used to. Was I doing the right thing?

Things were not going as I had wished or planned. I was in a place and a situation where I thought I am not the right person. Those very close to me know what I had been going through. But throughout this period, I had been questioning God. My wife and my parents and those very close to me asked to accept everything as God’s will. They all said in one loud voice I should not question God.      

Was I wrong in questioning God? The story about Abraham being ready to sacrifice his son Isaac gave me an answer for this.

Abraham has engaged in a dialogue with God quite often. Genesis 12-22 shows us the story of Abraham and God discussing, debating and arguing out rightly. When Abraham is offered a great promise his first response is – “how am I to know that I shall possess it?” (Gen 15:7). Abraham further engages God in a long bargaining session in Genesis 18:22-23, arguing to save the lives of those he does not even know in Sodom and Gomorrah.

Abraham in a sense was in a real relationship with God. He was seen loving, trusting, obeying, questioning, joking and arguing. But when it comes to sacrificing his own son we see a different Abraham.

Immanuel Kant in his book, The Conflict of the Faculties has beautifully brought that picture of Abraham. Kant says, “Abraham should have replied to this supposedly divine voice: ‘That I ought not to kill my good son is quite certain. But that you, this apparition, are God – of that I am not certain, and never can be, not even if this voice rings down to me from visible heaven.” After reading this I too fell that there are two parts to the test that Abraham had to go through.

On the obedience part which we can term as the objective part without any doubt Abraham got an A or A+. But on the relational part which we can call as the subjective part Abraham failed. Abraham got A+ for trusting God enough to take his son to the mountain which was the obedience test. But every step of the way he should have argued with God. He should have wrestled with God, like Jesus wrestled with His Father in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Abraham should have asked at least some of these questions – “Lord, you’ve got to give me more than this – Lord, forget about all those descendants you promised me. I just want this one – Lord, I know your voice, I know you. You and I are friends –  This is not the God of righteousness, justice and mercy that made a covenant with me.

We don’t see any of these questions or arguments being raised by Abraham to God. When God said to Abraham “Kill your son,” he said ‘Okay” The only question that Abraham asked God was “where should I kill?” Abraham didn’t engage in any debate or discussion. He just remained silent.

Would it have been wrong if Abraham questioned God? As a father who was blessed with a child after many years I feel he should have. I think God expected that. Abraham won the test of obedience but lost the test of relationship.

When we look at the story it’s a happy ending. But was it really a happy ending? As Abraham was about to carry out the orders we see an angel intervened and stopped. My question is – Why didn’t God intervene? If we look carefully we find that never again does God speak to Abraham in the Bible after this. The intimacy we see in their relationship up to this point is over. Also from this moment onwards – Abraham never speaks to God but only speaks about God.

Not only this – for the rest of his life, Abraham is alone after this incident. He dwelled in Beersheba. Sarah was in Hebron, Ishmael and Hagar were in Egypt and Isaac too was far from his father. Abraham ended his life separated from all those he loved the most. Including God.

There is no doubt that Abraham’s greatest gift to all of us is the willingness to obey no matter what the cost, even the cost of his own dear son. But at the same time Abraham’s failure I feel is the inability to be in a relationship with God when it mattered most – the cost of his beloved son.

Has your relationship with God been complicated? Have you questioned God? Have you argued with God? I did for the last couple of months. But I feel He has been gracious enough to answer me. More than being puppets He wants to share a relationship with us. He is a God who will answer back. He loves to make his point clear. But are we ready to question Him?