Was I Right in Questioning God?
He said, “Take your son, to the land of Moriah, and
offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall
tell.
Genesis 22:2
Facebook has a category: “Relationship status.”
We have several options to choose from. Single, in a relationship, married, complicated
and so on. My relationship status with God for the last couple of months has
been complicated.
Personally, and spiritually life for me
has not been at its best for the last 3 to 4 months. To be precise it’s been 2
months and 7 days that I have written anything or I have taken a pain in
reading the Bible with the seriousness I used to. Was I doing the right thing?
Things were not going as I had wished or
planned. I was in a place and a situation where I thought I am not the right
person. Those very close to me know what I had been going through. But
throughout this period, I had been questioning God. My wife and my parents and
those very close to me asked to accept everything as God’s will. They all said
in one loud voice I should not question God.
Was I wrong in questioning God? The story
about Abraham being ready to sacrifice his son Isaac gave me an answer for
this.
Abraham has engaged in a dialogue with God
quite often. Genesis 12-22 shows us the story of Abraham and God discussing,
debating and arguing out rightly. When Abraham is offered a great promise his
first response is – “how am I to know that I shall possess it?” (Gen 15:7).
Abraham further engages God in a long bargaining session in Genesis 18:22-23,
arguing to save the lives of those he does not even know in Sodom and Gomorrah.
Abraham in a sense was in a real
relationship with God. He was seen loving, trusting, obeying, questioning,
joking and arguing. But when it comes to sacrificing his own son we see a
different Abraham.
Immanuel Kant in his book, The Conflict of the Faculties has beautifully
brought that picture of Abraham. Kant says, “Abraham should have replied to
this supposedly divine voice: ‘That I ought not to kill my good son is quite
certain. But that you, this apparition, are God – of that I am not certain, and
never can be, not even if this voice rings down to me from visible heaven.” After
reading this I too fell that there are two parts to the test that Abraham had
to go through.
On the obedience part which we can term as
the objective part without any doubt Abraham got an A or A+. But on the
relational part which we can call as the subjective part Abraham failed.
Abraham got A+ for trusting God enough to take his son to the mountain which
was the obedience test. But every step of the way he should have argued with
God. He should have wrestled with God, like Jesus wrestled with His Father in
the Garden of Gethsemane.
Abraham should have asked at least some of
these questions – “Lord, you’ve got to give me more than this – Lord, forget
about all those descendants you promised me. I just want this one – Lord, I know
your voice, I know you. You and I are friends – This is not the God of righteousness, justice
and mercy that made a covenant with me.
We don’t see any of these questions or
arguments being raised by Abraham to God. When God said to Abraham “Kill your
son,” he said ‘Okay” The only question that Abraham asked God was “where should
I kill?” Abraham didn’t engage in any debate or discussion. He just remained
silent.
Would it have been wrong if Abraham
questioned God? As a father who was blessed with a child after many years I feel
he should have. I think God expected that. Abraham won the test of obedience
but lost the test of relationship.
When we look at the story it’s a happy
ending. But was it really a happy ending? As Abraham was about to carry out the
orders we see an angel intervened and stopped. My question is – Why didn’t God
intervene? If we look carefully we find that never again does God speak to
Abraham in the Bible after this. The intimacy we see in their relationship up
to this point is over. Also from this moment onwards – Abraham never speaks to God but only speaks about God.
Not only this – for the rest of his life,
Abraham is alone after this incident. He dwelled in Beersheba. Sarah was in
Hebron, Ishmael and Hagar were in Egypt and Isaac too was far from his father.
Abraham ended his life separated from all those he loved the most. Including
God.
There is no doubt that Abraham’s greatest
gift to all of us is the willingness to obey no matter what the cost, even the
cost of his own dear son. But at the same time Abraham’s failure I feel is the
inability to be in a relationship with God when it mattered most – the cost of
his beloved son.
Has your relationship with God been
complicated? Have you questioned God? Have you argued with God? I did for the
last couple of months. But I feel He has been gracious enough to answer me.
More than being puppets He wants to share a relationship with us. He is a God
who will answer back. He loves to make his point clear. But are we ready to
question Him?
